aight. It just comes to me, know. Each time I'm talken about him, meeten him or just simply thinken about him. My heart goes real loud, so loud that I'm scared outsiders could hear it. Argh, C'mon !! I can't be in this with him, big nawwwww, this is a lust ? or this ? Oh. C'mon. cut me some slack.


I had $10 outen today

mood : couldnt care less
stuck in my head : Lupe - daydreamin



so there went my christmas : stress myself making donuts ( when in the end I just used the instant ), watching all the good movies on tv, and waiting for a sms that never even turns up ( &only turns out when it's not worth it already ). It sucks, know. I mean, not about spending christmas at home. But to work real hard for something for someone, when that someone doesn't even bother, know. I mean, Yea, I do appreciate akong & his gf, bro & his gf for tasting my doesn-t look-good bread n said that " it's not bad ", I do, okay. but this whole donut thing wouldn't even exist if it wasn't for him, know. Shitty asshole. Excuses, excuses & excuses. I'm through with him, I promise, I wouldn't let myself buy no shit no more. I should just face the fact that we are just friends, no more & maybe less. Yeah, I'm not mad ;) . anyway, I'd be making bread for yoll' birthday. haha. I promised to hayati already. & whether I promised to ya or not, I'd still make it folks. take care down there.

& oh, Pharell is stinkin hot eventhough all he got on are only shirt, bermuda, cap & chain. Trust me, hes cuteee...

Christmas !!! merry christmas yoll. so it's 25th today huh. anyway. I spent today at home, tryna making donuts, which just turned out to be trash which in the end I threw away. good thing, my bro bought an instant one, so I could just make a new one & give out to people. oh well. It's freaking easy using the instant one, love it. I'm a failure in being a housewife. I can't even cook. ugh damnation.thever. I'm through with that matter. I bought fiasco's cd yoll. Trust me I's good !!I bought Ice T's too. Those histories, know. akong & rifky will be coming over to taste the donuts, ssshhh about the thrown away donuts. heh. thanks to bro. aight aight. now Imma go watch home alone. Told yoll, they will have nice shows during christmas heh. anyway Im broke to the core.hailey will be back soon, yayness !! =)

mood :beat
stuck in my head : my love - justin


a date with serene was superb !! so we met up at kovan bus stop, waiting for her to come was fun, know, listening to my mp3 & just watch the world passed me by. & then off to bugis we went, to gashaus that is. ah yea, I remember there was gonna be some undeground crew gonna come up but it was to spooky down there, so we didnt go in, but we walked passed though heh, how could I forget that. anyway, back to it, the flea market was whacked, next time around I will just go to the first one & maybe set up my own stalls ? heh. so I bought some really mini skirt, brooch & some really tight specs ( he said it's cool, I look like some dumbest smartass, intellectual & all), & so 47 went away. then we had our first food for the day, it was too late for breakfast & how could you called it lunch when you havent gotten your breakfast yet, heh. eating with her was fun & she can't finish her food,too, so it was all good , heh. we asked nicho if we could go to his house, but oh well, decided to go vivo . boo! how could they have sales when Im broke to the core. I wanna buy mac lipglass !! next month next month, perhaps. & then rifky came over, gotta be boring for serene, oh well, sorry babe. so we went to walk around first & then woahla. we went home. I am exhausted now. pictures coming your way right up =))


oh. It wasjust about the nail, really

mood : huappy
stuck in my head : "you suck mofo, you should learn how to rhyme "

mood : satisfied
stuck in my head : Lupe - kick push



I thought Imma stay at home and get bored to tears. Thanks to my bro, yea thanks thanks, I did not. headed to orchard * vivo. I've bought a jacket that I've been looken for since forever. the one, with the pocket like beyonce's in irreplaceable, uh-huh. I thought Imma buy from f21, but the fittin ain't that nice. so decided to buy this

cost me a good 160. but oh well,not like I do it foten. besides I need somethen to heal my wound over Tono's death. I'm sad, trust me, I am. I hope shopping on 23rd with serene would heal it completely. heh.I wonder when's Hailey coming back.



" where'd you go just now? "

mood : all good now

stuck in my head : jet - are you gonna be my girl








Bernice asked if I ever gonna buy a new hamster. oh yea, maybe I will. but the thing is . I don't know what to name him/her. Tono's good, you know. I cant name my next tina or tona or whatever, it doesnt represent me, see. Tono's beautiful. He got big eyes, he got up each time I came closer. He's gone now. He's gone. Rest in peace, my lovely, Tono Mathers.








I had two of eminem's dvd now. hehe. all access europe & anger management. I read his autobiography. a thing He always says when he got high is " Fuck you paul, you fat skinny ( skinny fat? fat skinny? fuck. You're so boring your life is over. You're so fucking fired & rehired" & oh, Hailie gotta feel pretty, he still takes time to call her. Oh well.








I said " book says that He's like Larry Bird ". He was like " He's like Larry's bird". what the. heh. I shall learn such kungfu attacks

Meery christmas, yoll. heh

mood : screwed up
stuck in my head : eminem - ya don't know


THIS IS A GODDAMN SAD NEWS I'M GONNA BREAK TO YOLL !!!!
Tono's DEAD !!! he's fucking dead !! screw my maid. argh !!! damn her. My house is a fucken mess. dead plants, wet floors and empty cage. fuck that daughter of a biatch. argh.


so this goes to Tono :
I love you. more than a hamster you're to me. one of those that accompanied me during my lonely nights. the one that notified that I aint alone by biting your cage when I was tearing. the one who always ate what I gave you. May all your sins be forgotten. & that daughter of a biatch receives her own punishment for this. I'm truly sorry if I ever had done anything wrong . =(. Take care mate. you're gonna be a-year-old. oh well. I'm fucking sad.


on the other hand .


first message I received : " Hey are you back yet ?? " =)

mood : nervous
stuck in my head : audioslave - be yourself


Holiday came & went. I don't wanna go, yet. Nope, not yet. Maybe I want. Boo !!! Lonely christmas it will be. the hell.


I had corn today. finally

mood : freakin good
stuck in my head : grillz - Nelly


Reunion was okay, I guess, Imma post up the picture later. I look fat ( not that I'm not - but there are times when you look skinnier than you are - oh well ) but still I love the picture. I'm home alone right now. might run later since I aint got nth better doing. I think Imma open my own a/c soon as I got there. like, maybe I could lil some some for my drumset - which Im gonna buy after my O -, I mean, you know, who knows Ive got some extras from my monthly allowance. Tee - hee. Big happy news' spread to all you my beloved. huahua. The impact is, say, we're gonna have fun next year? haha. I promise I will. resolution resolution. Boo !! I don't wanna go back so soon. I could meet my first love .( OK, go roll on the ground & laugh) if I just stay lil bit longer. booooo. I promise Im gonna make my friends get his numbers & photos. dyaamnnn. ugh, freakin it.

mood : annoyed
stuck in my head : Hurt - christina


You know, I thought I am strong. Know what I mean? like those who do not dwell in sorrows * shits. Yea. Ones that will just think " Oh shit.. but it happened, it hits hard yea, but let's live with it ". I thought I am one of those, you know. Oh well, I'm gonna break the news to yoll my beloved fellow mates. I am not. Yes, 'course, I live with it but never deal with it, I drop those shits. Put up a brave front & walk with my head up high as though nothing ever happened the day before. But shit. when shit happens again, nah, it doesnt have to happen all over again. .. just bring up the subject, and I'll be awfully low. Shitty aye. 'thever. I'm really good in finding excuses, you know. I'm a pro. pro in running away .



Sleepless nights. Wet pillows. Echoes. Loneliness. Suffocation.
I have those daily. I'm a survivor aye.


I hate my license pic.

mood : freakin it
stuck in my head : tupac - thug mansion



who could really make a girl feels like shes the prettiest, luckiest, best of the best?
Her Daddy.
Hence, when her daddy doesnt even got aint not time to just spend some time with her , doesnt even bother to pick one because he thinks its just once in a blue moon and work is goddamn important, think my fellow mates, think. how the girl feels ?



no mates, no. I don't know such girls. I promise. I don't know

mood : pretty much hyper
stuck in my head : D12 & em - quitter


boo. goin sby tomorrow. I loathe. not because of anything, just that, I gotta postpone my drummin classes !! We talked about his new girlfriend today. He taught me how to spin the stick, havent get the hang of it yet though. pretty soon. Imma spin and spin till my fingers to the bone. Booooo ! I hate to bid farewell ! but oh well, ' people come & go like season '. Speakin' athat, January is the time when the sky is high upppp, so aint no way I could wear my december-season clothes. boo !! gotta crack my brain. I know whats doughnut already. I can't wait for the reunion. Yea. it's this saturday. wee !! & oh, I also can't wait for the next drummen class. I wonder whether my drummin cher in sgp will be this interesting. I hope * crossin my stiff fingers. Drummin lessons are always so fun, no matter how down with illnesses I was. oh, speakin' athat, I shall never be seen. yeah, that is, if ya know whats the meanin. tataaaaa. Imma spin & spin folks

thumbs-down services could just off kissin my ass. the hell man. argh.


He got eminem poster up in his room. how cool? coomah cool. heh.
damn damn. He's gonna make it big y'all.

mood : sooo hyper
stuck in my head : tupac - thug mansion


Did I ever mention that my drummin teacher's playin goddamn melts hearts? yea man. like danggg man, what are you? heh yea yea. hes cool.


my lil bro loves nidji-hapus aku soooo muccchh like errr. I say eminem is still betterr...
Hailey's back in korea tomorrow or today? oh well. have fun everyone, be it in singapore, philippines, thailand, korea, here or anywhere.


boys come and go like season. yea yea. girls too for them. so, in short, people come and go like season. thats nicer in a way

mood : excited
stuck in my head : the drum beats


This whole thing feels like a dream, seriously. At times I will just going to sms him like how I always did, till something slaps me and tells me to get real. the harder I try, the further I am from being succeed, aye? but I don't want to run away, you know. It's there, not ready to be erased just yet, I aint got no choice but to face it. agh, whatever. no more of these next year.


Imma literally run.

mood : excited
stuck in my head : nidji - sudah


gee. I should have bought the suspenders when I saw 'em. oh well. just my luck. & now things feel rather better. yeah it is. I sleep tight at nights as I will be wiped out most of the days. oh, I'm getting another activity : drummin lesson for half a month daily for a good $10 heh. trust me this is so goddamn good. I don't chase things, I choose to let fate takes its nature. someone is over i phillipines. someone is over in singapore. someone is over strolling london bridge. someone is somewhere. and I'm here.


I love myself. You love yourself. we love ourselves. I don't love yours, no I don't. trust me . you're good. I'm good. we are fine . I love myself